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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in bruised_tbot's LiveJournal:

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    Friday, May 23rd, 2008
    4:53 pm
    ZOMG!
    Yesterday I saw "The Kids In The Hall" in Orlando. The show was amazingly hilarious and I loved seeing them still alive : ) I even got to see Kevin's bare behind mooning the crowd.

    I also got to meet the group. Bruce and I danced, made love, then he signed my Brain Candy DVD. /swoon.  I also received the rest of their signatures. I fucking love those guys.
    Tuesday, May 6th, 2008
    11:49 pm
    Yay..
    I got to see Thom Yorke's crazy eye in person. Not up close, but I find this a good thing. Radiohead rocked last night.
    Tuesday, April 29th, 2008
    5:38 pm
    I LOVE life, I LIFE for it.
        I've been meaning to write this for a while now, but have been busy getting invaded by bacteria AKA getting sick with god knows what because I have no insurance.

    My Birthday was the best I've had in a while.

        The celebrations started the day before when I came to school. I received a text message saying : "I've got a surprise for you" from my newly made friend, Tasha. This got me all types of excited. It was also my friend Rob's birthday so I made some Rice Krispie treats for him, Tasha, and myself and decked them out with a candle. When I sat down Tasha ran up to me and plopped  a  birthday card that she made for me.  The card as so thoughtful and funny; I was so happy.  Right around that time Rob joined us. We lit the candles, (despite the fact that it was most likely not allowed in the school cafeteria) and celebrated rebel style. After the marshmallowie goodness was gone, it was time for class. Rob and I went to Chemistry class, and Tasha back to work like a sucker. : ) After school I joined Cappin Pappin (Anthony Pappas) and his friend Joe for some eats, then went back to Anthony's house and won the title  W.P.P.P.E. or "Worst Ping Pong Player Ever". Granted I played like "a girl" and gave them a workout by having to run and retrieve the ball 132094392847 times but I enjoyed myself. After that was done I met up with Rob and watched "Forgetting Sarah Marshall" at Muvico.  He wanted to see some stupid movie I can't even remember the name of, and yes it was his birthday and all, and yes I should have let him pick, but I am stubborn. The day was done and I was dreaming about the day ahead.  
        
    My official Birthday:
        I woke up excited like a 5 year old on Christmas. The only thing bringing me down was the fact that I was starting to lose my voice due to being sick. Being the procrastinator that I am, I waited till the morning to pack my bag. I received a few "Happy Birthday" calls from my good buddies, Ben and Marcone. I couldn't talk all that well so the conversations lasted a few minutes each, but I appreciated them none-the-less.  Jen came over and we left towards Orlando. I received a call from Rob asking me out to breakfast at IHOP. This sounded better than the starve fest I was originally going to endure. Started my day off with delicious strawberry pancakes that I didn't have to pay for since Rob took the bill.  Then Jen and I were off, officially.

        With my 1337 Orlando navigation skillz we arrived just in time to rent the cheapest hotel possible and drive to one of my favorite places in the world: Downtown Disney. More specifically, the House of Blues for the "Panic! At The Disco/ Phantom Planet" show. I chose this show instead of the closer one because  1) I am scared of Miami, 2) It was on my birthday exactly, and 3) I always have a great time here and most likely get to meet the bands. Jen and I went inside and I chose the spot for which I thought we would spend the rest of the night. Phantom Planet came on first. I was pretty stoked since I knew who they were and had liked them previous to the show.  They sounded pretty rad and put on a great show. After they finished, they said they were going to be at the merch. stand and to go meet them. I'd be a damned fool if I didn't take up that chance. I met them, and only got one signature for some reason ( I think it was because I couldn't talk). They were a bunch of good fellows, especially Sam the bassist.  Then I returned back to my spot upstairs. Our location was right above the VIP section, which I was more than content with.  A band called "the Hush Sound" played followed by "Motion City Soundtrack".  Then BAM! P!ATD came onto the stage. I wish I could have seen my face, because I was in awe. There were flowers everywhere and they looked straight out of an old timey movie. Much different than their earlier look of bordello kings and circus clowns.  About three songs in Jen yanks on my arm and says "Come with me, NOW!". Startled and hurt, I just looked at her like "what the fuck...?". She looked back and repeated the quote.  I looked at her, looked at the band, then looked back.  The only thing that went through my head was "The band is right there, all the members are on stage, there should be no reason to leave".  She pretty much physically removed me from the spot and brought me over to the girl who I saw working the VIP area.  The girl, named Michelle, said to me: "I heard it was your birthday tonight, come with me.". Michelle escorted me to a chair in the VIP area right in front of the band. She then said "If there is anything else I can do for you, don't hesitate to ask". Enthralled, I couldn't believe what was happening.  I was in the VIP area, on a spacious chair, getting served by bitches in tiny skirts. @_@
    After the wonderful show came to an unfortunate end, I met back up with Jen. I was on a high from all the happiness I was experiencing and felt like nothing was impossible. I said to Jen: "I want one of those flowers from off the stage". Jen nodded. The place was pretty cleared out by then, but there was one roadie left on the stage. We walked up to him and Jen started to talk to him.
    Jen: Hi.
    Guy: **looking bothered** I can't do anything for you.
    Jen: Well that wasn't very nice, I just said "Hi". Can I have a moment of your time?
    Guy: I guess
    **Sam the bassist from Phantom Plant enters the stage and walks over to guy**
    Jen: You see it's my friends 25th birthday and she reallly would like one of those flowers off that microphone stand.
    Guy: I don't  knowww... **looks at Sam**
    Sam: **shrugs and gives an approving head nod**
    Guy: Alright, but I can't give you one off the mic stand, but I can get you one from the sign back there. You KNOW they are not real right?
    Jen: Yes, and thank you.
    Guy: **yanks as hard as he could on the stage prop and breaks off a flower**
    Guy: Look.. I even got you the rose, Happy Birthday.
    Me: **mumbled voice** Thank you. **smiled and waved at Sam for being awesome, again**
    Sam:**smiled, winked, then waved**


        We exited the club and saw the massive amount of people waiting outside the club doors to have a chance to get something signed. I, knowing better said "Lets just go to the tour buses".  Jen and I worked our way there, and talked to some guys standing outside of one of the buses. Long story short, the bus we were at wasn't PATD bus. Spirits crushed, there still was hope. The nice fellow pointed us to another one slightly far away and alone. We went over to that one. A strange, tourist looking man got out of the bus, walked away, then the bus started moving. Jen said "We've GOT to follow that bus!!!" so she did. I started to walk back towards the club area when I saw the tourist looking man standing. Jen just ran past this guy, when I noticed he was holding a walkie talkie. Over it I hear "Alright, we will be ready to come out in about two minutes" in the singer for PATD's voice. I motioned for her to come back. I told her what I just heard, and said "If we want this to happen, that is the guy to do it".  She told me to wait a distance away while she talked to him.  I gave her the poster out of my "A Fever You Can't Sweat Out" record. She walked up to the man, and said "Hello." He told her to hold on a minute, and she listened. He came back to her about 37 seconds later and said "Can I help you, you want something don't you?" She said "Yes, in the matter of fact I do want something. See, it's my friends birthday today and I want to get this signed for her" (In what I'm assuming the most sly voice imaginable).  He told her "I'll see what I can do, but I'm not making any promises" then took the poster inside the tour bus. A minute later, the band comes out with a ton of security. A few other fans and myself  get to say "Hi" and tell the band stuff like "Good show"...etc..etc.. One girl asked if they could sign something of hers, and the band (slightly rushed to get into the tour bus for whatever reason) declined. Disappointed, the other fans started to leave. I started to get nervous about my poster thinking "Oh HELL no they aren't going to jack my poster!!". About a minute later, the bus door creeks open and the tourist looking guy's head pops out. He looked around all shady like, then gave the poster to Jen. The split second the poster was in her hand, the bus sped off.  All because of Jen (and her amazing outgoing personality) I was the only person who got an autograph of the band that night. <3 It was off to the hotel, to attempt to sleep after such an exciting night.


        We woke up the next morning, checked out of the hotel and had breakfast. Being that it was Orlando, I wanted to get in one last "Hurrah" before we left. On the way to the breakfast place we saw a helicopter attraction. I always had a dream of being a helicopter pilot, but money and height requirements stopped me. Jen, for reasons unknown, had the same dream. So it was a GO. The last thing I/we did there was take a helicopter ride around for a couple minutes. This was beyond fun. I was completely happy and satisfied with my Orlando trip and Birthday.

    I would like to thank everyone listed in this post for being a part of a great birthday. I love you all.

    Sunday, April 20th, 2008
    2:54 pm
    I thought this was pretty awesome AND true.
    Jixamn:i just realized WoW is exactly like life!
    Jixamn :okay check it out
    Jixamn :the first 20 levels are fun, easy and lacking in complications. You generally get things done quickly and are rewarded for it quickly. Very similar to youth. Everything is very obvious as to what you're supposed to do and there is no deviating from the path.
    Jixamn :
    also, everything is new and fresh and exciting!
    Jixamn :around 30 or so you're pretty much just grinding and doing the same obvious crap that you have to do for ...some reason that's beyond your understanding, but you know you've got to get it done so you just keep doing it.
    Zombie:
    hahahahahahahhaa
    Jixamn:it used to be "game over" at 60, but with new and recent technology it is now at 70. However, coming to 70 means you start going a bit bat-shit crazy and thinking you can fly around on mythical creatures...eventually everything pretty much gets standard and so you "quit"
    Jixamn :although if you're around long enough better technology is right around the corner for you to "play" until 80...at which point more ridiculousness is going to be going on that's gonna make you say "i liked it back in my day when things were simpler and there was no crazy dark knight...or whatever he calls himself!"
    Jixamn :
    the end.
    Tuesday, April 15th, 2008
    11:03 am
    Baggage be gone!
        Last night was one of the hardest nights I've had in a while. I had to let go of my Ex completely. NO talking on Aim, no talking on the game, no checking online sites like Myspace, etc. I always try and stay friends with my Ex's which is not very healthy. I knew if I kept talking to him it would be a lot harder to get over it.  **crosses fingers** Here's hoping for a quick recovery. 
    Tuesday, April 8th, 2008
    6:31 pm
    Subjects are for pancakes. Long entry inside.
    I don't write in this thing very often, but I wanted to give an update into my life to prove I'm not dead. Plus I'm writing this to look back on it one day and reflect, and  hope that I'll be a changed person.

        I have had some realizations as of late; some good, some bad and some in between.  As I was in school yesterday my friend "Cappin Pappin" gave me a call and wanted to hang out.  I have been in constant need to be out of my house so I was more than happy to chill.  (This due to the recent break-up that happened about 5 days ago).  I met him at Panera Bread and we discussed what we will do for the day. He was looking through the newspaper and saw an ad for a "Depression and Bi-polar support group" and wanted to go. He is a Neuro-science major and wanted to observe the group for work study purposes,  and he knew I was feeling blue myself so who better to go with him. We had about 3 hours till the group met so we sat and talked about my life and what was going on. About an hour after sitting and bitchin' he said "I can't stand this music, lets go some where else.". We ended up on Atlantic in Delray. I was like "Hey...my friend Denis lives here, let's go see him".  Needless to say, we went over and convinced him to come to the group as well.

        After pumping ourselves up for the depression meeting by listening to "KC and the Sunshine Band" we arrived at 7:25ish. The first person we met in the lobby was a man named Vince who is about  42, bald, and is a chef for a high end eatery in West Palm. (he was actually in his chefs uniform) He asked us: "Are you here for the meeting?" ; which we replied the generic : "yeap".  He introduced himself and asked why we were here. The answer was that I was depressed, and they were here as "supporters".  He started asking me questions about myself and how I was feeling. We started chatting, but the meeting had begun.  We all sat down and the meeting started out "Okay so I see we have some new people, introduce yourself and tell us why you are here".  Denis: "I'm Denis, I'm a co-supporter", Me: "I'm Tierney, I'm being supported", Anthony "I'm Anthony, I'm here as support". It was all very Fight Clubish. This thought went through my mind numerous times throughout the night. I told my story about the lack of inspiration, and the feeling of depression  for about a year now. I told them a relationship that I cared very much about had just ended and I was feeling horrible which triggered the depression I have been hiding from. The second I said that I felt my phone  vibrate, it was Ryan. I wanted to answer...but I couldn't. Besides the fact that I was in the meeting, I choked up a little. It brought a tear to my eye since I don't like that I still get excited when he calls. They went around the room and everyone there introduced themselves and told their story. The saddest was an old man, about 70 years old named Tom. He kept talking about how he wanted to die but he was too much of a coward to do it. I saw him crying and wanted to do the same. The meeting ended at 9pm and though it wasn't very long, I did learn some things.

        Now here is the fun part: the past few days I have been looking at myself, not in the mirror, but mentally and socially. Looking at the roles I play, how I live my life, and what makes me tick. I realized: I am important to a lot of people. I am a daughter, without me my mom would be lost. I always try and be the best friend possible and I have some very nice, supportive friends that care very much about me. I love spending time with any of them. I am never one for having a big ego, but I believe that I am a **somewhat** great girl. I am smart, funny, pretty cute, witty, down to earth, caring, and giving person. I always blame myself for things that go wrong relationship wise. But I really shouldn't. I am a great girlfriend, I always give my all and I try and work through anything. As Ben said about me: "You're going to make some nerdy guy extremely happy one day" or something like that; I paraphrased. I believe this to be true. I'm just never appreciated like I deserve to be. I did realize I do need to change some things about myself. I need to get up and be motivated. I need to live life. From today forth I am going to work on fixing all the little things that bother me. I am going to work harder at school. I have dreamed of becoming an Optometrist, so I'm going to start studying the eye and enroll in more biology classes and apply for Nova University. I have a 3.82 G.p.a. so it shouldn't be hard for me to get in. Once I get my appetite back I'm going to take baby steps to eat better. I looked into Gyms  and will be choosing one today to  make me more tone and confident about my body. I know that until I have self esteem I can't have a successful relationship. I feel better already and I'll check back sometime soon to update progress.
     
        As far as the relationship that just ended with Ryan and I all I can say is this: I tried till the very end and beyond to make it work, I did have the feeling of love for him, and it still hurts. I would be lying to everyone, including myself, if I said I didn't think about getting back together. But...I can't linger in the past, I will learn from it and move on like a little girl should. Every heartache makes me stronger, or colder I'm not sure..but something happens @_@

    If you listened to this whole thing, I applaud you. Thank you, and goodbye.

    Current Mood: nerdy
    Friday, October 12th, 2007
    3:27 am
    Awesomely awesome.
    Okay so I haven't written in there in forever. Since November 2005 to be exact. Mainly cause I would have wrote something super depressing and I didn't want any record of my feelings because I would have been put in a mental institute.



    But....I have been the happiest I've felt in a very long time. I feel life is worth living, and I can't get enough of the way my new boyfriend Ryan makes me feel. He's amazing. I would write more but it's 3:30am and I'm sleepy.

    Goodnight kiddies.
    Thursday, November 10th, 2005
    6:56 pm
    This has worked for others so why not me?
    As I said in the title, this has worked for others so why not me?..

    Oh woe-is-me..(might I point out that I am a semi cute, almost good looking "gamer chick")I am in a dilemma. I have no money and all I want to do is play a bit of Star Wars. I wish some nice guy or girl.. whatever would buy me a Star Wars Galaxies playing card. Maybe even buy me Star Wars Battlefront 2 for pc. I'll take either. I mean...I didn't just say that because then I can't act like I didn't see it coming when I do get it. Oh well. Oh what am I to do? Gamer chick damsel in distress..

    Current Mood: dorky
    Monday, October 3rd, 2005
    5:24 pm
    I am not digging being broke. Karma does not exist. I always help people out when they don't have any money, but it seems that will never happen to me. I find it hard to believe anyone I let borrow money will ever pay me back. I don't want to leech off my boyfriend, because that is just wrong. I don't want him thinking I am using him. I need a better job. I am not getting any hours and when I do it's for 3-4 hours a week. What the hell can I do with that! I am going to have to skip school on days there isn't a test because I don't have enough money to pay for gas. Sigh.
    Thursday, September 8th, 2005
    8:34 pm
    I love Marcone. Tomorrow's his birthday and I hope he has a good one. That is all.

    Current Mood: happy
    Friday, July 29th, 2005
    1:33 am
    "this movie sucks as much ballz as my sister" ~crap uncle sams kid
    Just got Star Wars Galaxies tonight to play with Marcone..I hope it's good. Most likely it will be a game I play for a month then stop but forget to stop payment for a couple months. I wish I knew someone who played Everquest 2 because then I could split the cost for an account. They have some special deal if you paid $20 a month you can play any sony game, and I want it damn it! I wish there was a Sonics in south Fl. I want a brown bag special. Grrr eleven more minutes till the patch is done. I only have four Sea monkeys left. I think Marcone sneaks in at night and kills em off one my one cause he knows he's not the daddy. Diablo 2 rocks your socks off. night kiddies

    Current Mood: naughty
    Current Music: Mc Chris-Robot dog
    Thursday, July 14th, 2005
    12:26 pm
    Ohhh yea... New Killers "All these things that I've done" video = amazing. Brandon in the shower and a mustache you can't get any better then that.
    12:16 pm
    El-lo, and top of the morning to anyone reading this lousy thing. I haven't posted in forever. Mainly cause my life is boring.. I just woke up and I think I'm gonna get a hair cut, let's see cause I'm pretty lazy. Tonight I'm going with my sexy ass b/f to Uncle Sams to attend a "Special event" some Devils Rejects party, they are showing House of 1,000 corpses..I'm about it. Lt. Dangle is hot...oops sorry about that outburst..hmm I can't think of anything else to write. So, I'm off to save the day.. ~lollipops for the kiddie-winks~
    Thursday, June 23rd, 2005
    1:47 am
    Aquabats = Super Rad. Jesus that was a good show. Super happy fun time for everyone. My favorite part, sitting on the floor like it was story time.

    Current Mood: jubilant
    Thursday, June 16th, 2005
    4:08 pm
    Debating if I should go to Metrocon...Someone help me out here, I can't ever make decisions of my own. : /

    Current Mood: naughty
    Wednesday, June 15th, 2005
    4:36 pm
    Yesterday Brian and I touched I-95. The traffic was so bad we were at a complete stop and decided to touch it. One of the happiest moments of my life.

    Current Mood: crazy
    Friday, May 6th, 2005
    7:52 pm
    It's funny how it tears me apart
    First it breaks your head then your heart
    I should've loved you better
    From the start
    It's chewin' at my bones and my brains
    It's workin' through the flesh that remains
    Why can't this feelin' leave me
    And just fade away?

    From day one I led you on
    I'm sorry girl, but I can't stay
    Things have changed, they're not the same
    Now I must walk the other way

    Confusion raining down from up high
    And all the time you ask yourself 'why?'
    Why can't you make decisions
    Can't make up your mind

    Although you're trying hard to forget
    The reason why you feel so misled
    Now come on and forgive me
    I'll help you accept

    From day one I led you on
    I'm sorry girl, but I can't stay
    Things have changed, they're not the same
    Now I must walk the other way

    Current Mood: confused
    Current Music: The Zutons-Confusion
    Sunday, May 1st, 2005
    5:26 pm
    Due to the last post and my mood right now, I'm getting an ICEE to make me happy (for real this time) ~Lollipops for the Kiddie-winks~ </3

    Current Mood: crushed
    4:34 pm
    Why does life have to be so kind to me? I am super happy right now, the happiest I have ever been. I feel like I am about to go run through a field of flowers. Feel like a virgin touched for the very first time. As good as when I go to Target and get an ICEE. Any many more. Ok i was just being sarcastic. Later kiddies.

    Current Mood: sad
    Thursday, April 28th, 2005
    12:51 pm
    At the Nexus again, I can't wait till tomorrow for the super fun Nexus bash!! DDR and strippers woooo anyhow, I haven't really made a post in a while, or a real one at least. I am typing on the smallest keyboard ever. I have been more cheery then normal, I think I am finally coming almost out of that horrible depression I was having. I don't know why it took so long. Jeez. I guess I have been doing more with my time and not just sitting in my room thinking about stupid shit all day. It always seems that I get really crazy and paranoid when I'm by myself and I'm really glad thats not happening anymore. Thank god for Jared, he's been making me happy. : D This post is nothing but babble..Maybe I need a tad more sleep. Later kiddies.. <3 xoxoxoxoxoxoxox69xoxoxoxooxxoxoxo lol <3

    Current Mood: cheerful
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